Chiang Mai, Thailand. January 2024.
In Westworld’s first season Anthony Hopkins character, “Ford”,
tells a story to one of his earliest replicas. A story about an old race track greyhound.
Whom had spent his entire life chasing fake bait around a track, is naively set loose in a park and chases after a cat.
The dog runs and runs and runs. Doing what it is bred for.
Once the dog catches up to the cat, much to everyone’s surprise…
It kills it.
After the dust settles, the dog sits there. Next to the dead cat. Blood all over, confused. It spent its entire life chasing something and with its goal finally reached, it has no clue what to do next. Nothing, nada, zip, nill, void.
Dead Cats
Years I looked at myself, presented myself, as an artist. I spent all my spare time hunched over a desk sketching, practicing. Studying business. Navigating freelance life. Struggling from one job to the next.
Until the struggle faded.
It was a gradual event, but at a certain point I was an artist. A real one. An artist who was specifically requested by clients of clients. An artist, who had gone viral. One who was able to influence on a global level. Someone who appeared in news papers more than once. Someone who occasionally made more money in a few days than most people do in a whole month, or two.
And I began to resent it. The passion soured into dread. I wanted nothing more than for it to disappear.
With no clue what to do next, I fell into a hole.
“If you want to be a grocer, a general, a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment”
Oscar Wilde
Lucky for me, career counseling helped me understand why I felt stuck and frustrated.
I changed my focus and went back, chasing a new cat.
Until I taste that blood again.
Lost Souls
Currently I’m in a place that attracts many people in similar situations.
With the same vibe of confused wonder.
People who have chased their dreams for too long.
Got burned out, dumped, exhausted and more.
Wandering the planet in search of something, yet we don’t know what.
Like a colorblind person attempting to describe a rainbow.
It frightens me, to become aware of these patterns.
And probably worse,
to see another cat, have the chance to achieve my most ambitious goals.
Once more wont hurt, will it?
What else am I to do?
Here’s the scene. Enjoy!